Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Happy Halloween Everyone....
A man is walking home alone late one foggy Halloween night, when behind him he hears:BUMP...BUMP..BUMP...
Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...
Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind himFASTER...FASTER...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...
He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him.However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clappingclappity-BUMP...clappity-BUMP...clappity-BUMP...on his heels as the terrified man runs.
Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, he locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door.Bumping and clapping toward him.The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup!Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket...
and,
(hopefully you're ready for this!!!)
The coffin stops........
A man is walking home alone late one foggy Halloween night, when behind him he hears:BUMP...BUMP..BUMP...
Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...
Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind himFASTER...FASTER...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...
He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him.However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clappingclappity-BUMP...clappity-BUMP...clappity-BUMP...on his heels as the terrified man runs.
Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, he locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door.Bumping and clapping toward him.The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup!Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket...
and,
(hopefully you're ready for this!!!)
The coffin stops........
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
A Newfie, let's call him Danny MacDonald, is driving home after downing a few at the local pub. He turns a corner and much to his horror he sees a tree in the middle of the road. He swerves to avoid it and almost too late realizes that there is yet another tree directly in his path. He swerves again and discovers that his drive home has turned into a slalom course, causing him to veer from side to side to avoid all the trees.
Moments later he hears the sound of a police siren and brings his car to a stop. The officer approaches Danny's car and asks him what on earth he wasdoing. Danny is telling his story of the trees in the road when the officer stops him mid sentence and says, "Fer Christ sakes, Danny, that's yer air freshener!"
Moments later he hears the sound of a police siren and brings his car to a stop. The officer approaches Danny's car and asks him what on earth he wasdoing. Danny is telling his story of the trees in the road when the officer stops him mid sentence and says, "Fer Christ sakes, Danny, that's yer air freshener!"
Just some jokes to help kick the day off....lol
Do you know these people??
Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free to good home. You want it, you take it." For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too untrusting of this de al. It looked to good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: "Fridge for sale $50." The next day someone stole it.
They Walk Among Us!====================
I used to work in technical support for a 24/7-call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific". .
They Walk Among Us!====================
I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?" I explained that a person 's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned...
They Walk Among Us!====================
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and Iwas in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"...
They Walk Among Us!====================
While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.
Do you know these people??
Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free to good home. You want it, you take it." For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too untrusting of this de al. It looked to good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: "Fridge for sale $50." The next day someone stole it.
They Walk Among Us!====================
I used to work in technical support for a 24/7-call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific". .
They Walk Among Us!====================
I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?" I explained that a person 's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned...
They Walk Among Us!====================
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and Iwas in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"...
They Walk Among Us!====================
While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Winter is here. Snowed for the last two days. But the weather network says the temperature is going to be in the double digits for the next few days. Just got back from taking the dogs for a walk, and the snow is already melting. Hopefully it stays nice till Halloween, every year it seems to snow on Halloween night making it really cold for the little trick o treaters. Got the outside of the house setup as a graveyard theme. Actually looks really cool, got tombstones with skull head lights, big spiders and tons of ghosts. I remember being a kid and my favorite thing was to find the houses that were all "spooky" looking. Now I just have a few more things to get done outside around the yard and hopefully in the next few weeks everything will be done, so if winter does stay around at least the yard work is taken care of. Cleaned out the garage yesterday, took back all the bottles that were collecting, got almost $20.00 for them. I have been putting that off all summer, so it feels good to get that knocked off the list. One thing done, about 50 more to go...lol.
