Wondering Lost

Well the week is almost over, TGIF.

So I think there is some good karma in the air these days.  Change is about to happen I can feel it.  I have decided that you only get to live once and you should try everything at least once, just so you can have the ability to say you have done it.  So in the next few weeks, that is exactly what I am going to do.

It’s time I start living for myself, and not everybody else.  It’s time I start trying everything at least once.

So the Human Stain – Not a bad movie, mind you anything with Anthony Hopkins in it is pretty darn good.  Not exactly what I thought it was going to be about, but it kept me entertained last night.
 
So today is hump day, what to do, what to do.
 
I have to take my car in for general maintenance, but I am finding myself feeling pretty lazy today.  After working so hard last week, I feel totally drained.  Plus now the weather decides to get nice, after all this rain we have had its crazy.  Its only suppose to get hotter for the next couple days.  Oh maybe its time to jump back on my bike … hummm
 
So what is everyone’s plans for today, *(besides work)* ….

INTERNET ADDICTION

This list decides my situation to a tee.... the ones in bold apply here

 

Symptoms of Internet Addiction

1) Using the online services everyday without any skipping.

2) Loosing track of time after making a connection.

3) Goes out less and less.

4) Spending less and less time on meals at home or at work, and eats in front of the monitor.

5) Denying spending too much time on the Net.

6) Others complaining of your too much time in front of the monitor.

7) Checking on your mailbox too many times a day.

8) You think you have got the greatest web site in the world and dying to give people your URL.

9) Loggin onto the Net while already busy at work.

10) Sneaking online when spouse or family members not at home, with a sense of relief.

I watched that movie last night the Butterfly Effect, what a messed up concept.  If life were only like that, if you had the ability to change things that happen in your life to suit your fancy.  But unfortunately that is not the case, if you haven’t seen it I would personally recommend it. – Tonight I think I might relax and watch the Human Stain with Anthony Hopkins and Nicole Kidman looks to be a good thriller.  Any recommendations from the peanut gallery??? Anything but romance, don’t think I can handle that right now….
 
So here is the update, life is still moving along, although it feels different now.  I have been thinking about moving again, now that I work from home, I have more flexibility in where I live.  But today I realized maybe that is just a sad attempt to hide from the recent encounters. 

Oh yes yet another week, Mondays blah who needs them anyway.  Yet another month deadline met.  Oh .... now sometime for some r&r...and time to think what to do next...

It’s funny sometimes how life is so unpredictable.  Just when you think it couldn’t get anymore perfect you get thrown a massive curve ball.  I have started to spend more time with those that really matter in this world.  I am hurting still, but I have come to realize that you can’t change people they are who they are for a reason.  And everything happens for this particular reason; as long as you learn from it then life isn’t at a loss.   Over the years many people have come and gone in my life, all I wished for was that this time it would be different.  I am not getting any younger, with each passing day I long for someone special to share the meaningful events with.  Is it all a far fetch wish??  Humm I know my time is still to come; it just wasn’t my time yet I guess, too bad.  Well just got to keep moving on and forward.  They say bad things come in threes…    

You know I started this blog as a way to keep in touch with my friends from back home and as well to make new ones with whom I could share my experiences with. But lately I have discovered that some people out there have this addiction to the net. When being on the Internet becomes more important than spending time with family and loved ones, one must question if there is a serious problem arising. Yet to have a secret life on the web, and trying to fool people into believing you are something that you are not, is quite disturbing. I know someone who can’t even spend one day away from the computer, they even went as far as purchasing a cell phone that had internet capabilities so they could check their email at work. I mean I personally believe there has to be some form of separation.

Ok yes I am still hurt and yes this person was someone I thought loved and cared for me, but am I really that far off base. What would you do if you just discovered that someone who you trusted and loved promised they felt the same for you, yet when you discover they are on the net meeting people (by meeting I mean having “coffee with”) would you feel betrayed? And when you confront them on the issue they pass it off as “Don’t make a big deal out of this”, humm makes me wonder what kind of fool they think I am…..

Oh I wish I could just let the hurt and pain go… I am still trying to decide which road to take….

The plot has just thicken...

Oh summer is here, and as you can tell I haven’t been keeping my posts up to date, that’s because I have been spending every ounce of time outside enjoying the hot summer weather.

My life in the last few weeks has been something of a tornado. People I thought that were true and dear to my heart have some how made their sour impact on my heart. You know what I have learned is that I don’t think you ever truly know a person until something bad happens to ruin the months and years of trust. You would think it takes all this time to build trust with an individual, yet secrets and lies can bring it crushing down within minutes and seconds.

My heart is once again sadden and broken, yet what do I do this time, do I give them a second chance to prove themselves. How many chances till the next time? Want to hear something funny, right after I confront them on the lies, only hours later they were right back at it again. Do they think I am a fool? … Boy are they wrong. Funny thing is if I had done to them what they have placed on me, they would kill me in a second.

So I have come to yet another crossroad in my life, which direction I choice to take has yet to be determined. But I will tell you one thing it is my choice for the making, and I have the advantage this time around… Away to wonder I go….cheers